Somnambulant woman

Honeymoon

2008-07-25T14:13:16Z

I KNOW I shouldn't be planning this a week before the wedding. But, hey, we're poor, ya know?

So, original plans: we were going to use my grandfather's timeshare and stay in Phoenix, Arizona. It would only cost us $99 per person for the week. However, we could only stay until Wednesday, so it really wasn't worth the $400 plane tickets.

So my second idea was staying in Hershey, PA with obvious trip to Hershey Park and perhaps Dorney.

However, I just called my grandfather's timeshare to cancel the Phoenix trip that he reserved for us. Well, I didn't know that "reserved" meant he already paid. I thought it was run more like a hotel. But apparently not. So now I have to use that $180 dollars credit in three months (I have to book the trip, not actually use it in three months. That $99 deal only works on excess inventory, though, which is only available for a month at a time. So I can't plan it for next summer since the timeshare is probably expensive for anything else.

So, now what to do?

I looked into it, and there is a trip to Stowe, VT for the week of our honeymoon available. It would be much like the trip to Acadia, ME I originally wanted to take. Hiking, boating, horseback riding (I don't know if I could get Mike on a horse), driving, swimming, and other adult things.

However, my upbringing is still leaning towards the amusement parks.

VT=cheaper
Hershey=Hershey

Either one, I know Mike and I will have fun at. Its just different kinds of fun.

;_; I don't know what to do! I don't know if I'll be able to get enough time off this fall to use up that $180 credit and I don't want my grandfather to think I don't want his kindness! I told him about it already and he seemed fine with it, but I know this is his way of spoiling me without having much money to do it with.

So, friends list, what do you think?

EDIT: In case you wanted to see the timeshare excess inventory site.

Off to the land of endless ocean I go...

2008-05-31T05:28:59Z

Be back on Thursday, June 5th.

Indiana Jones movie...

2008-05-22T06:53:42Z

If you value your money, don't waste it on the Indiana Jones movie.

Indiana Jones + Aliens = Wow, that was a shitty movie xinfinity.

George Lucas + Indiana Jones = Guess we should have seen the aliens coming.

But, OH WAIT! They weren't aliens...

ALIENS (to George Lucas) = "Interdementional beings that look suspiciously like aliens"

Random natives that pop in and kick your ass then either leave or are shot by commies.

IN SOVIET RUSSIA [insert any scene with Cate Blanchet].

HER HAIR NEVER MOVES! NEVER!

He was better in Forbidden Kingdoms. Forbidden Kingdoms was also a much better movie.

Note to self: Monkeys in the Amazon will alway help you defeat the Commies. Call them in times of need when your father is in trouble and you are hanging twenty feet above the ground by vines after a narrow chase through the jungle on that helpful "road" that "mysteriously" appeared.

So, when we are invaded by aliens, they will look like someone bought their skeletons at Spencers gifts with special fog machine features and that neat trick with the purple light that follows your fingertips on the glassy edge.

They never did explain why things that were not magnetic were beign attracted to the non-magnetic item...or the random natives...or anything else for that matter.

Saying, "They are aliens and that explains everything," does not, indeed, explain anything.

I think that is all I have to say about that. There is probably more, but I am tired. You also probably won't get most of it unless you see the movie. If you feel like bashing your head into something after a movie, feel free. It is just what you are looking for then.

For the few iconists on my F-list...

2008-01-19T20:38:46Z

A continuation of anime_medley!
Join | Rules | Affiliate

Nanowrimo Word Count

2007-11-01T21:12:12Z

Here we go again...

NaNoWrimo 2007

Computer help needed...

2007-09-11T17:49:35Z

Does anyone in the internet world know a simple way to make my wireless password protected? I'm apparently computer illerate when I tried to look it up online.

:D HELP ME!!!

ABC Challenge + iconfiend100 + Misc icons = loads of icon fun!

2007-07-27T02:48:35Z

For all you Witch Hunter Robin fans out there:

Teasers:

[31] iconfiend100 Challenge

Click: 31 out of 100 done, tis a good start

[26] anime_abc Mega Challenge

Click: 26 icons in 26 days

(Mind you that all of the icons in the Mega Challenge is in the Iconfiend one, but I'd appreciate it if you commented in the ABC one when you are taking one of those. Thanks. :D )

Misc Icons
[01] Bleach
[02] Cowboy Bebop
[01] DOGS
[01] Juvenile Orion
[01] NANA
[02] Naruto
[01] Pan's Labyrinth
[01] Wallflower
[10] Total

Click: Ten icons is reputable...

Total new icons in post: 41

Feel free to click the links and enjoy! ^_^

Otakon 2007: 7/19 - 7/22

2007-07-19T06:03:38Z

So yeah, I'm gone to Otakon, guys. If you need icontest help, please refer to a co-mod (though not akaii_hana as she is going with me). If you need me for a personal matter in RL, call the cell.

If anyone else is going and wants to look for me, my cosplay line up:
Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell: SAC) battle suit
Matsumoto Rangiku (Bleach) [look for the REALLY big boobs xD ...trust me, you can't miss them)

See you when I return! :D

And she returns...

2007-01-16T07:13:42Z

For any interested, I got home safe and sound on Sunday night. I'll write more about the trip later (doubtful, but we'll see). ^_~ Yay for keyboards that are made right! xD Stupid American and her inability to function on European keyboards. xD I am a nerd.

And to further the idea that I am a giant nerd, I have found something new with the flavor of nanowrimo (only this I know I'll finish). xD

With this, I welcome myself to 50bookchallenge. Since I probably read this much (or more) by the end of every year, this should be fun.

33 / 50
(66.0%)

Book List:
1. Mistral's Kiss - Laurell K. Hamilton [Hardcover - Fantasy] 212 *01.03.07*
2. One for the Money - Janet Evanovich [Paperback mm - Mystery] 320 *01.06.07*
3. Playing with Fire - Gena Showalter [Paperback mm - Romance/Scifi] 384 *01.08.07*
4. Match me if you can - Susan Elizabeth Phillips [Paperback mm - Romance] 416 *01.14.07*
5. The Bridge of Andau - James A. Michener [Paperback mm - Nonfiction/History] 277 *02.14.07*
6. for one more day - Mitch Albom [Hardcover - Fiction] 197 *02.16.07*
7. Voices from the Other World - Naguib Mahfouz [Paperback - Fiction] 90 *02.20.07*
8. Outlander - Diana Gabaldon [Audio Book - Fiction] -- *04.20.07*
9. Dead Witch Walking - Kim Harrison [Paperback mm - Fiction] 432 *04.25.07*
10. Fountain and Tomb - Naguib Mahfouz [Paperback trade - Fiction] 120 *05.01.07*
11. Two for the Dough - Janet Evanovich [Audio Book - Fiction/Mystery] -- *05.04.07*
12. Three to get Deadly - Janet Evanovich [Audio Book - Fiction/Mystery] -- *05.07.07*
13. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown [Paperback mm - Fiction] 496 *05.29.07*
14. In the Forests of the Night - Amelia Atwater-Rhodes [Paperback mm - Teen Fiction] 147 *05.31.07*
15. Demon in my View - Amelia Atwater-Rhodes [Hardcover mm - Teen Fiction] 176 *06.02.07*
16. The Harlequin - Laurel K. Hamilton [Hardcover - SciFi/Fantasy/Fiction] 422 *06.07.07*
17. Shattered Mirror - Amelia Atwater-Rhodes [Paperback mm - Teen Fiction] 227 *06.08.07*
18. Silver's Edge - Anne Kelleher [Paperback - Fantasy] 532 *06.13.07*
19. Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone - JK Rowling [Hardcover - Juv Fantasy] 309 *06.25.07* {Re-read}
20. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - JK Rowling [Hardcover - Juv Fantasy] *06.30.07* {Re-read}
21. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - JK Rowling [Hardcover - Juv Fantasy] 435 *07.04.07* {Re-read}
22. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - JK Rowling [Hardcover - Juv Fantasy] 734 *07.14.07* {Re-read}
23. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowling [Hardcover - Juv Fantasy] 870 *07.25.07* {Re-read}
24. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - JK Rowling [Hardcover - Juv Fantasy] 652 *07.29.07* {Re-read}
25. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows - JK Rowling [Hardcover - Juv Fantasy] 759 *07.31.07*
26. City Infernal - Edward Lee [Paperback mm - Horror] 366 *08.06.07*
27. Free Bards - Mercedes Lackey [Trade Paper (Omnibus) - Fantasy] 712 *08.14.07*
28. Grendel - John Gardner [Trade Paper - Fiction] 192 *08.20.07*
29. Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini [Trade Paper - Fiction] 400 *08.28.07*
30. Twilight - Stephenie Meyer [Hardcover - Vampire Fantasy] 512 *09.01.07*
31. New Moon - Stephenie Meyer [Hardcover - Vampire Fantasy] 608 *09.04.07*
32. A Doll's House - Henrik Ibsen [Paperback - Drama] 108 *09.18.07*
33. Streetcar Named Desire - Tennessee Williams [Hardcover - Drama] 171 *09.24.07*
34. School for Wives - Moliere [Paperback - Drama] 147 *10.14.07*
35. The Awakening - Kate Chopin [Paperback - Fiction] *10.29.07*

Currently Reading:
Assassin King - Elizabeth Haydon [Hardcover - Fantasy] 384
The Nymph King - Gena Showalter [Paperback mm - Romance]378
Tales from the Thousand and One Nights - Translated by Dawood [Trade Paperback - Fiction] 407
Children of Hurin - JRR Tolkien [Hardcover - Fiction] 320

Note: mm means 'Mass Market' which is basically the smallest form of paperback the the most widely distributed. I note it because I will add 'Trade Paperbacks' which are larger paperbacks.

And here I go again...

2007-01-05T04:53:53Z

Damn, I should be so lucky
Even only 24 hours under your touch
You know I need you so much
I cannot wait to call you
And tell you that I landed somewhere
And hand you a square of the airport
And walk you through the maze of the map
That I'm gazing at
Gracefully unnamed and feeling guilty for the luck
And the look that you gave me
You make me somebody
Oh nobody knows me
Not even me can see it, yet

I'm going to Eastern Europe from January 5-14. If you need me for icontest stuff, contact akaii_hana, cdg, or another mod I work with for help. If you need me on a personal level, email me at mystique182@lycos.com. I can't promise I'll get it right away, but it is something.

I made something! :D

2006-11-30T06:00:43Z

Been a while since I really tinkered in photoshop. Got last minute inspiration and made a Memoirs of a Geisha wallpaper. Take if you like. :)

Schweet!

2006-09-13T15:16:41Z

Finally uploaded my Otakon 2006 pictures! :D

<< Maybe one day I'll actually get to uploading the AnimeBoston 06 ones. xD

I'm making this entry public so anyone can leave a comment about the images! :D

Gone 8/3 - 8/10

2006-08-03T02:38:58Z

I've still got sand in my shoes
And I can't shake the thought of you
I shake it all, forget you
Why, why would I want to
I know we said goodbye
Anything else would've been confused but I wanna see you again

Mike is coming here very soon (!!) and we leave for Otakon at noon tomorrow. If you need me for icontest stuff, you can contact everbliss, infamouspink, cdg, or chibikame. If you need me for real life stuff, call my cell. :)

Two rants for the price of one...

2006-06-28T19:13:28Z

Okay, I'll break these down by lj-cuts just so you can choose which you would rather read, if at all.

WTF? Why is it that when I order something online, I get messages back that they are backordered when it says nothing about it on the website when I ordered it. Some of you may remember the headache I went through with my Baretta training gun I ordered. Well Amazon, a normally legitimate website, is a fucktard as well.

I ordered A Stroke of Midnight by Laurell K Hamilton because I can't find it in any of the bookstores near me. I figured I'd save a couple of bucks as well. So I ordered it from this place called "A1 books" or something like that. The fuckers sent me an email saying the order was being processed and I should have it in 1-2 days. So I'm really frickin' excited and can't wait for it to come in. Until I checked the status on the first day.

It says "Refunded - order cancelled".

I was all O.o; WTF?? I WANT MY DAMNED ~~SEX~~ BOOK!! xD Well, I emailed them cause I thought it was an issue that I cancelled my original order cause Amazon had my old, cancelled credit card number. It wasn't. It was on backorder. So they just cancelled my order and "refunded my money", though I have yet to see the fruits of that labor on my account. Stupid motherfucking scammers. Now I have to wait until my next paycheck to make sure I have enough money to take my trip this weekend and gas, plus order the book.

I'm so angry right now, I could scream or cry. (I tend to cry when feeling extreme emotion of any kind. So yeah...)

This is a rant I was planning on writing for a while:

I've experienced this for years now, but its been occuring more and more lately. Most of you know that I harbor a 33DD bra size and I weight only 120lbs. It means I'm pretty petite with huge knockers. Normally, if this happens naturally, its considered the greatest thing on the face of American social standards.

Now I'll ask you, the next time you go to a store, a normal store, like Kohl's, H&M, or Sears, go into the petite or juniors section and look for a bathing suit top that goes above either a C cup or a LG. Good fucking luck. Even if you do find one, remember it, and go home and look up a naked chick with size DD's. Then try to approximate if it will even hold back her nipples, let alone her boobs. Most girls with natural big boobs have large nipples. They stretch. Be realistic. A 3x5 triangle is not going to cover them up and give any hope that you will not look pornographic in it.

Some of you must be thinking, "Stop complaining! You can wear anything you want and it'll look fantastic! At least you aren't flat chested!" Then I'll ask, "What the fuck are you on?" You do NOT want to see me in a strapless anything. It makes me look fat and my boobs look like booeys sticking from my chest. It is not flattering. I have to constantly buy new spagetti strap tank tops because they stretch so fucking easily trying to hold back my mammories. Not that I can wear a tank top like that without something else over it. If I don't, I'm told by women that I should cover up and men's leering eyes don't even try to hide the fact that they can't control themselves. But it isn't their fault, right? Its mine for letting them hang out there. If you agreed with that sentence, get the fuck off of my friend's list.

Something interesting I found out once when I went to Vikki's Secret in the mall. (Let alone the fact that the only DD's they carry are in full cups, not demis, and they are very select in style. They don't even have them in strapless!) The girl was helping me find a bra that actually fit and she told me that natural big boobs were so hard to get fit right because THEY MOVE. Yes, boys, that same movement that makes your eyes glue to them is the reason why nothing fits nicely without a supportive bra that fits right. If they were fake, they wouldn't move, and you could buy whatever the fuck you wanted and, as long as you got your size, you can wear whatever the hell you want.

Now, I work in retail. About 70% of the things in my store I can't wear because either A) It won't be flattering or B) It just won't fit. I've had that happen. I tried on a dress once that was in my size. I couldn't zipper it up past my boobs. I had to give up because I didn't want to break the dress.

Everything in the fashion industry, unless custom made or made for larger women, are made for C cups or lower. So the next time you hear a flat-chested girl complain about her chest, just think of the fact that she can wear whatever the fuck she wants. Granted, she'll have a hard time pulling off a sultry look in a tank top, but at least she can look cute in it whereas I'd just look like a hooker on a break.

In a world where big-boobs are so valued, why do I, and many others, who obtain them naturally, just see them as a pain in the ass?

~Flits~

2006-06-15T04:06:12Z

Danny came over last night and I cooked for him
He talked about you Mary and how much we loved you still
He told me he's packed up your books and your letters and things
But as the sun sets on Mary, it's rising on him
And we danced, and we drank
And I've seen something you probably never got the chance to see
Don't worry, Mary
Cause I'm taking care of Danny
And he's taking care of me

Going to my Grandfather's wedding. I dunno, I have mixed emotions about it. I'm happy that he's happy, but I miss my Grandmother. ::sigh:: Just thought I'd explain the lyrics a little. The names don't pertain to my life, but the overall meaning of it does. Having the boy there will help though.

Anyway, I'll be gone from Thursday, 6/15, till Monday, 6/19. If you need me for icontests, talk to akaii_hana, cdg, or chibikame. If you need me for life, just call me. :)

Convention time!! :D

2006-05-25T07:17:34Z

Oh how quiet, quiet the world can be
When it's just you and little me
Everything is clear and everything is new
So you won't be leaving will you

So yeah, I will be gone from May 25-28. If you need me as a friend, call me on the cell. If you need me for an icontest or another community I run, please go to either akaii_hana, chibikame, or cdg since one of them is bound to be a co-mod to a community you ask me about.

That is all. :D

♥ Calen

On the road again...

2006-04-13T11:20:30Z

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Gonna be away from today (4-13) to next Monday (4-17). If you need me, contact akaii_hana or chibikame OR cdg (the last two are just icontest-related while akaii is for anything).

♥ Calen

There I go again...

2006-03-10T12:08:27Z

I wish I had a metal heart
I could cross the line
I wish that I was half as good
As you think I am

Going to be gone from now (3/10) until sometime Monday (3/13). If you need something for a community, ask akaii_hana, chibikame, or singingllama. If you need me, personally (as in I know you in real life), call me. I'll pick up. ^^

♥ Calen

Don't feel much like talking...

2006-03-04T06:08:03Z

I'm feeling shitty right now. But I thought I'd make a post with my birthday banners I recieved from online friends. Thanks guys!

Made by the luffly everbliss. ^_^ Thanks babe!

Made by infamouspink. And, no, I will not have your babies. Period. xD

Made by one of my bannermakers at anime_abc, legna_asehed. Thanks! ^_^

And this one just had to be shared:

Made, again, by infamouspink. xD ♥

So...

2006-03-03T05:31:22Z

Happy birthday to me...:D

There goes 20 years. Wow, no longer a teen. heh.

On the road again...

2006-02-16T05:15:43Z

It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes some dust to make it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful

Yeah, I'm going away for the weekend again guys. 2/16-2/20 I'll be back at about 5pm on that Monday. See you when I get back!

PS If you're looking for me in a community I run, try emailing me. Can't guarantee that I'll get it, but you can ask akaii_hana if its an emergency (if she helps me run that community). If she doesn't, try chibikame if she does. ^_~

♥ Calen

BEST THING EVA!

2006-02-01T04:33:06Z

Stolen from singingllama. I know most of you won't have a lot of icons to do this with, but I promise it'll be amusing. xD

In this post, talk with your icons, and only your icons. Post early, post often, and respond to whomever you want. Just leave a dot or a dash in the comment field if LJ tells you you can't post a blank comment.

Happy holidays to all...

2005-12-26T01:14:27Z

xD Had to be trendy too. Lots o' luff guys! ^_^

Just ignore this...

2005-11-22T21:21:17Z

I'm redesigning my userinfo again and wanted a post to put all of my resources and misc things in. The link for my awards is still the same.

The following are communities I mod, are in, support, or otherwise luff:
*
(my shared icon journal)

*
(co-mod)

*
(closed for now...but I miss it)

*

*

*anime_abc (co-mod)

*bishie_box (owner and co-mod)

*icon_tutorial

*anime_medley (co-mod)

*strayd0gstrut [cowboy bebop icontest] (co-mod)

Resources:
*
*
*
*
*
*
*alaskanicons (textures)
*angelic-trust.net
*colorfilter (textures)
*etoilepb (textures)
*dearest (textures)
*ohpaintbrush (doodle brush)
*Pretty Brush (Blood/crack/smoke brushes)
*wednesday_icons (light textures)
*xonlyashesx (circular light textures)
*cdg (too many to name)

Requests:
This form is for personal requests, like if you do not want to go through iconomatopoeia. you can submit the form here.

*Type: Icon or Banner?
*Font: What's the name of the font?
*Text: What do you want the graphic to say?
*Effects: idk if i'll know it but i'll try...
*Dimensions: Do you want the icon 100x100? do you want the banner 400x300? I have to know the height and width of the image. If you don't care just write so in the form.
*Image: Give a link to the image so I can get to it.
*Animated: I'll give anything a shot. no guarantees though.
*Other: Want anything else on your graphic?
I actually took this from iconomatopoeia so ^^;;

Affiliate:
*hanabydesign
wanna affiliate (kinda pointless i kno...) lve a message here.

My Claims:
Couple: Quatre Raberba Winner and Trowa Barton <3 @ gundam_claims

@ animeclaims:
Trowa Barton from Gundam Wing
Hiei Jaganshi from Yu Yu Hakusho
Cho Hakkai from SaiYuki
Sumomo (Plum) from Chobits
Asato Tsuzuki from Yami no Matsuei/Decendants of Darkness
Wakamiya Kyou from Alice 19th
yay! ^_____^

(sprites made by bobbissimo)

banner made by rumination

banner made by magelet

GRYFFINDOR
{ wear }

I will not stand for this


Everyone Feels This Pain
Show your support Much ♥ to hydrogen!! animanga iconmakers are love. animanga iconmakers are love.

Random Short Story time...

2005-10-14T03:13:38Z

Okay, so I wrote this on the way to AnimeBoston 05. I dunno what to do with it to be honest. I like it, but I don't know where else to put it besides in here. If you guys have ideas or something let me know.

So here is the deal: It is 6 pages, double-spaced. Please please please, just take the time to read it. *puppy eyes* I know some of you are speed readers. And I think some of you will like it for its content *cough*T*cough* xD

So PLEASE read it! I want feedback!

I'm even leaving this non-friended for others to see. If you are a random person, please only leave constructive critisim. Kay?

The Deal

Her face was nothing but liquid; a façade of paint that she put on to pretend that she was actually much more than she seemed. A creature of the night, she could suck your soul from your lips with one Kiss of Death. She was Satan’s child, or so many mothers would warn. She was not the type of girl you brought home to your life giver, but she was definitely the kind to rebound with after a fight with your ex-girlfriend.

Victoria, spandex on her legs and black dye clinging to her damaged hair, walked down the street, following a group of similarly dressed creatures. She kept her head down, but occasionally raised it to glace at one of the men in front of her. She walked like one with a burden, slouched down like she was debating whether it was morally wrong to kiss the curb. A hope burned within her, a hope that he would glace back when she was not looking and then their eyes would meet in a moment of Serendipity.

Draven, though that wasn’t his real name, was a poser of the best kind. No one even knew his real name anymore. He was so good at being someone else that few knew he was only trying to play someone everyone liked, but he did not. The feeling of belonging was too strong in his head, covered in blue-black spikes. He hid his pain in his lip ring and the sleeve of tattoos he used to keep off the cold of loneliness. His blue eyes sparkled with unshed tears, but no one knew, thinking it was all the years of drugs. He never did any drugs; that was a fabrication of his story, the character he played in his Globe Theatre of life.

He was so immersed in his selfish, deviant character, that he could never see the longing that entered his best friend’s eyes whenever they threw around the ideas of youth. The drunken sex they took from each other, one for a need to quell the loneliness and the other to stop the longing. Unfortunately, no matter how hard they pushed against each other, the solitude never left and the wanting only became deeper. So they drowned themselves in alcohol and joined again in a passionate night neither would remember clearly in the morning as they chatted quietly over mocha lattes.

Green orbs floated in a sea of white, the coastline coated in inky black, like an oil tanker had just made a mistake and now the stalks protruding from the coastline gleamed ebony. Victoria was focused again, staring at the back of his denim jacket, at the Casualties patch he had attached lovingly to the middle of it. He had asked her for the safety pins.

“Hey Vicky!” She hated that name, especially when it was uttered from that tar pit of an ashtray, Johnson. He came up behind her parading a tall blue Mohawk and brown eyes ringed in black, both from the eyeliner and drugs. He was a blatant poser; no way could he ever reach Draven’s level of poserdom. She favored him with a glace, her politeness echoed into her as a child taking root. “Wanna go have some fun? Just you and me. Whaddiya say?” The last word was slurred; he had been drinking.

“No thanks, I think I’ll pass.” Her voice was dull but hid an undertone of disgust. She continued her walk behind her the squeaking vinyl minions in front of her, thinking of the same thing that wound through her mind every time she was offered a night in Johnson’s drunken arms.

This was her part in Draven’s play. She was Draven’s fuck-buddy, not Johnson’s, when he was too drunk to pick up anyone else and she was readily available to him at all times. It was killer and yet it killed her. Every time he snaked his arm around her waist, his breath heavy with booze caressing her neck, her heart would flutter. Maybe this time, finally, he meant his words of love, uttered in a drunken slur. Drunken words were what people really thought, right? But that was never the case and now this drunken oaf was making an unwanted approach to her just because of her single status.

“Aw, c’mon, sweet’art!” He grabbed her wrist. “We’ll have some fun!"

She glared at his hand, her carefully constructed emotionless mask issuing a warning. “Don’t touch me, Johnson, or you won’t be able to fuck yourself later.” He was heedless to her warning.

“You don’t mean that. Just last week you were telling me how good I was!” He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her, pinning her to his chest. “I’ll show you just how good I can be when we fuck tonight.”

She couldn’t get free. Her skinny, weak outer exterior was just what it was; she may make threats, and some may even be followed, but she would never fend anyone off if she really needed to. She tried to push against the hard muscles of his chest, but he only pulled her closer. She was so close she could feel just how hard he had intended to prove his worthiness. “Let go, you fucking bastard. We were both drunk last week. And it will take me a hellovalot more alcohol to ever fuck you again.”

He frowned, an ugly gesture that screwed his face into a mask of hatred and foreboding. “We’ll see how fast you change your mind.” He clamped his hand around her wrist in an unbreakable lock and began to pull her towards Canal Street, where his apartment was. She pulled against him, hoping that the fight from her would discourage him. Unfortunately, it only helped to make him more aroused. “Good,” his voice had a low, husky quality to it now. “I love a slut who will fight.” She gave a final tug, hoping that if she put all of her strength behind it, she could escape and make a run for it.

Her butt hit the concrete sidewalk hard. Her hands landed with a skid, tiny pebbles embedded in her palms. She gasped, surprised; she hadn’t really expected to get away. Her muscles tightened as she tried to pick herself up, until her wide eyes settled on Johnson, lying on the ground several feet away, clutching a bleeding nose.

“Let’s go, Victoria.” A hand followed the quiet voice to appear in front of her face. She took it without hesitation and felt herself being lifted into the air easily. “Are you okay?” She nodded dumbly, looking into Draven’s clear blue eyes. He had not followed the rest of the Spandex Society. “Good. Let’s go home. I’m not in the mood for this stage tonight.” She nodded again. They were going back to his house, probably to drink in private. Then the cycle would continue again.

“You fucking bitch!” Johnson’s voice yelled as they turned towards 42nd Street. “You slutting whore!” He sounded more sober then the last time, a broken nose could do that for you. “You’ll fuck him but you won’t even consider me? What the fuck? A fuck is a fuck, who cares what it is with? You whores are all the same.”

Her hand dropped to her side when Draven let go of it. In two long strides, he had Johnson by the collar. “Shut your fucking mouth,” he whispered through gritted teeth. “She has more to offer then you will ever know, you filthy waste of flesh. She is not simply something to be fucked and thrown away.” He brought him closer so they were nose to broken nose. “And if you ever pull this shit again with her, I’ll break your neck next time.”

The drunken man stuttered a reply and Draven, satisfied, dropped him roughly to the ground. He turned around and grabbed Victoria’s wrist roughly and pulled her down the street, his anger still apparent. She silently followed, both out of habit and surprise. He wasn’t drunk—in fact he was completely sober—so why was he reacting like this? Their entourage had dropped away several blocks ago in favor of the clubs that offered one price for unlimited gluttony and lust. When they were about two blocks from his apartment, he stopped abruptly, clenching her wrist in a sweaty hand.

“I am such a hypocrite,” he whispered, barely audible, eyeing the sidewalk like maybe running his head into it would be a creative suicide attempt.

“N-no!” She stuttered, eager to be the supportive, ignorant best friend.

He turned to her suddenly, his long fingers still curled around her wrist. “Don’t do that!” He yelled fiercely. He let her go, and turned away, taking several large, smoke-congested breaths. “You don’t need to make excuses for me.” He began, turning back to her, his eyes glued to the tiny granules that made up the sidewalk. “I’m a jerk, and I know it. I hate the way I act, but that’s the only way I know how anymore. I—“ He stopped, choking on years of hiding. “I treat you like shit, and you are nothing but loyal in return. I try to push you away by ignoring you, but all you ever do is defend me. Why—“

A finger pressed up to his lips, stopping his question. She was trembling and the tears that were finally breaking through were beginning to smear the oily coastlines around her eyes. “B-because,” her voice was trembling with fright. “Because I love you.” She was so afraid. She was afraid that he wouldn’t feel the same, afraid that she was making a mistake, afraid that he would hate her. The fear of rejection was making track lines down the powder-clotted pores on her cheeks.

Hot lips pressed against her trembling ones. Two intakes of breath intermingled in one momentous occasion of passion. Her eyes flew wide open at her surprise, but soon closed again, falling into his addicting kiss. There was something different about this one. Those nights just spent trying to sleep off the alcohol and loneliness seemed so empty. This kiss, however, had something more to it, something she had longed for every time she kissed him, something she wanted to explore.

She gasped, finally getting her head back again. She pushed him away gently, though he tried to go in again for another kiss, his breath still burdened with passion. “Why?” The only word she could utter.

He was silent for a few moments and then leaned over and kissed her lips softly. “Because I’m in love with you too.”

“T-then why didn’t you—“

“I was scared. If I told you, I would have to reveal a part of myself that no one knew. I would have to break the barrier that keeps the world out.” He was rambling a little bit now. She snaked her hands around his waist, hugging him securely.

“I’ll make a deal with you. If you open that barrier for me, I’ll do the same in return. This way, we can watch each others borders.” She smiled at him, tears of joy washing away the last of her plastic smile. She wore a real one now.

“Deal.” He said simply and reached down again, capturing her lips securely, holding her to him as if she would fly away at any moment. They stood there, sharing their emotions through touches and caresses, until the clock tower rang twelve times, signaling to them that the night was young, and they had a lot more exploring to do.

<3 Calen